The best gift you can give a child is a growth mindset. Allow them to have progressive thinking. Tell them that they can tap into their magic and do better than you are doing. Encourage them to live a life that is better than the one you have created for them. Guide their energies to being magnificent. You can do it. If you need guidance, I can help. Just remember that who you are, is creating who they are. You can’t help them if you are not helping yourself.
It is helpful when you heal and choose to tell a better story. Trust me on that at least! It can be habitual to say ‘stop being stupid’ or other disempowering words. But those are not your thoughts. That may be your parent’s or your teacher’s when growing up.
When you work on you, you recognise this. You recognise what you want and need to heal.
My parents gave me enough to facilitate this aspect of my development. I see it manifest in my life in unimaginable ways too. I had 3 pregnancies in 4 years. When people used to ask me about my 3rd pregnancy and comment ‘so soon’ or ‘again’, I would boldly say,
“Better now than later. I’m not doing it all over again in 5 years. I have other things to do. I’ll spend the time and energy doing it now. Kids grow quickly. It’s barely a matter of 2 years before they get into school. It’s amazing at how fast they grow.”
Yes I was my own counselor on this! But the truth is, my reaction was just a reflection of my progressive thinking. I refused to get stuck doing one thing over and over again. I just wanted the experience, lessons and the next best thing in line.
And…my pregnancies were all amazing. They each brought out something wonderful in me. There is no way I would have changed how they unfolded for me… but when I was in them, it was different. Totally resistant and upset and sometimes pissed off at the world (my healing moments) .
Now, when I look at myself, I notice I always had this approach to life. For example, I needed 2 A-levels or 1 A-level and 2 AS to get into the degree program at the University of London during my teens. I opted to spend 1 year doing 1 A-level and 3 AS to keep moving on.
Many other decisions I made in my life reflect this and you know what, it’s a huge blessing. Look at me now…I’m doing all that I love doing and I’m getting better by the second.
This is my zone of genuis (thanks Sandra Pelley for that clarity) and I’m making big changes in the lives of my clients.
Now, my best advice to you is to take action. Heal you before your child needs to heal you in being their parent. Foster a growth mindset for yourself and your children.